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Elevator Self Portrait

A rare self portrait featuring me in an elevator

Are You Depressed?

I fill out this form every time I go to the doctor. Filling it out is never easy and often makes me feel worse about myself. I second guess myself, run in circles, and ruminate.

Over the past few years I have been learning that I have OCD rather than just Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is much more specific about the source of anxiety and the response to it.

Through research and therapy I am learning more about myself and how to manage my symptoms.

Dark Matter

Acrylic on Wood Board.

Dark matter is the invisible force that holds things together. What we see is only about five percent of all the matter that exists. The rest is invisible, hardly detectable, and beyond our current understanding. Just when you think you know something the circumference of the unknown grows larger around it and you realize just how much you don't know. We are a very tiny part of a gigantic universe.

Blue Marble

Let’s talk about the weather.

It’s unpredictable and chaotic. There is no telling what the clouds will bring. No matter the weather, or how gray and bad life may seem, beyond the clouds are blue skies. And the farther up you go above the clouds, where the blue sky fades into the starry space, there you can see the earth, and all of its weather. A wet rock full of life with a layer of clouds constantly swirling above the surface. There is only light from a nearby star, a few planets as neighbors, and some trillions of stars whose light has traveled just far enough to reach us. Beyond the clouds lies the unknown, dark, scary and hopeful universe. When you look up, whether you see clouds or blue skies, close your eyes and think of the biggest thing you can possibly imagine, as far as your imagination can go. As big and as vast as your imagination can get, the universe beyond those clouds, and the microcosm that lies beneath, are each an infinite amount bigger and more complex than your imagination could ever conceive. You are just another part of what makes up the universe, though one special enough to even begin to understand its complexity.

Broken Pomegranate

Traditional Ink, Digital Color

What began as a drawing in my sketchbook has gained significant meaning to me over time. To break a pomegranate open for someone and meticulously pick out the seeds, is a task that would only be done out of love. There have been many times that I have been more than happy to break a pomegranate for someone that would not even consider doing the same for me. As a recovering people pleaser, I am in the process of learning when to say no and when to prioritize myself, while also finding ways to nurture the relationships most important to me.